how do i start this

i don't record videos anymore i don't

know what i'm doing i sit down at my


and all of this is foreign to me i don't

know what a camera is anymore

i don't even know what a youtube is but


i'm back he's back

i didn't know what i was going to do

when i came back first i didn't know

what type of video i wanted to record do

i do a vlog so i can kind of

keep people up to date catch up a little

bit but we kind of did one of those

when i did the update video on my

birthday and

i don't really feel like i have a whole

lot more to say about the subject

of why i was gone everyone knows by now

everyone's caught up to speed

on things that were going on and i

thought about jumping back into a game

but that

isn't conversational i can't actually

talk to the people behind the camera

i can't open up i can't have a dialogue

with anybody

so i feel like we're just going to do a

good old-fashioned meme time

what say you good you don't really have

a choice the video is here you're either

watching it or you're not

roll the intro robin thank you it's me

time it's team time

gather all your friends it's mean time

it's been time

it's mean time the only cure for sadness

so i had a bunch of memes saved

from before i went um so maybe we could

look at some of those

but i can also just pick up like let's

go to the subreddit

and see what the top of this month is

let's see what people are actually

talking about thank you for outputting

amazing content nothing to see here

just saying that we are here for you and

we love you jack

oh that's really nice thank you there

has been

uh an incredible outpouring of support

since i've been gone um and it's been

very very nice thank you to everybody

who were uh

who were just there who wanted me to do

or to be better and like feel better and

wanted me to be better

whoever was like yeah he could do it

being a little better honestly for all

of you who were supporting me and saying

like hey take your time and come back

whenever you want we'll be here

that means more than you think

the amount of youtubers or creators or

streamers or whatever what have you

whatever you want to call them

that upload stuff and they're not happy

in the moment or they're not

feeling okay or something's going on but

they feel like they have to just keep

like turning out stuff

either for themselves or for their

audience or whatever

but just knowing that you can take an

extended period of time

off for whatever reason and have people

still show up

when you come back means so much

you have no idea because that fear of

like everyone's gonna leave and

thankfully i've kind of gotten past that


having taken many breaks in my day but

there are so many creators out there who

are just so afraid to take breaks

because they think something bad is

going to happen if they do that these

people are going to leave and they'll

never ever be able to get them back

um and if that's the case then were they

really worth having in the

first place hmm thank you i appreciate

it you guys are all very sweet here jack

you can have this [ __ ] ghosts

sounds tricky i don't mean literally

i may have not been making videos but

this sense of humor

was on fire baby you can't take the

funny out of this man

what's got two thumbs and it's hilarious

this guy

comedian septiceye.exe has been

activated it was never deactivated [ __ ]

it's here all the time even in some

scenarios when i don't want it to be i

remember being in school and i would

make jokes and stuff

at the worst times and then people would

look at me and go what the [ __ ] is wrong

with you also

i don't know what the context of that

tweet could have been it could have been


some ghosts are sexy i'm just gonna say

it bibi's a gamer now bb

always had been gamer bro

such a cute picture he was laying down

at the couch and i was like i wonder if

i if i put things on him will he care

and he was like no i'm just chill i

don't give a [ __ ]

he's like a walking pillow he's so cute

you know what's ridiculous you know this

will point out how [ __ ] crazy the

internet is

i uploaded this picture and i captioned

something like not now dad i'm gaming

you know like ha

funny quirky comedian septiceye.exe

this somehow turned into an argument of

xbox versus playstation on twitter

you guys are [ __ ] lunatics it's a

picture of a cat with a

dumb caption leave it at that everyone's

like oh my god i thought he would have

been a playstation guy myself

honestly like some people were joking

obviously but some people

actually started having arguments with

each other about xbox versus playstation

in the comments it was ridiculous

it's a hunk of plastic made by a company

that doesn't give a [ __ ] about you

why do you care about it so much you

can't change perfection the evolution of

pewdiepie's logo

a lot the evolution of jack's logo

not a damn thing has changed

look there's i've wanted to change the

logo for a while if anything i thought

this year i probably will change the

logo because it has been the same for so


and there is sort of a brand recognition

to that

that yeah why change it if it's not

broken and it's so identifiable and when

you see that

you think jacksepticeye whatever but it

just gets a little boring after a while

you know

i don't think i need much more brand

recognition i think

the amount of people that know what

jacksepticeye is is already more than i

ever thought it would be

i don't really care if more people know

what that is i'm perfectly happy where i

am at what i'm doing

but i kind of want to change the logo if

anything i respect felix's ability to be

able to change his logo so much

and still have people just kind of hang

around and like go with it you kind of

remember the different eras like i

remember this blue

pewdiepie logo a lot i remember

i remember the duck a lot and these ones

i definitely

remember because i guess they're the

most recent and these are the ones i

started off watching

first so there's a story there's a

history to it you can't remember

where you were emotionally during all of

these periods

both are fine brand consistency isn't

just a good business practice it also

gives me

warm fuzzies oh that's precious i will

say i don't like my banner i wanted to

change subscribe oh

that just plays apparently when i go to

my channel anyway yeah

subscribe i've been gone for a long time


you know i gotta get back into it we

need some ground swell going again

it goes contradictory to what i was just


subscribe did you know like 40 of the

people who watch my channel aren't


yeah it's free to do so click that

button right now uh

also buy my coffee i'm sure there's

probably a meme somewhere where we can

work that into it and sell out even

harder like the logo is fine

because again identifiable but i want to

change this

it's just that i don't know what i would

change it to

maybe maybe we could do something as a

community together to get some sort of

like new logo and not like joking ones

where it's just like a picture of my

face going like or something like that

but like we could come up with something

cool i think maybe we can have like a

a competition or a sort of event

around it you know that'll be cool why

not let's [ __ ] do it

no matter how cold it is outside there's

always that one [ __ ] in shorts

oh sans am i wrong

prove me wrong i remember in ireland i

would go to college and it would be


and there's always that [ __ ] who

comes to class and shorts and a

t-shirt i'm like are you just built


is there something going on inside you

are you a geothermal vent inside your


what gives maybe i'm just a weak little

bone baby

found this little quote in jack's demon

souls vod if you're in chat jesus my

house is cold

jack jesus can't help you with that dude

he's a carpenter not a plumber

look you're you're showing me this

because it's like how would a plumber


over here your heating is governed by

central heating

it's not air conditioning that we heat

up our houses with it's like

plumbing it's like central heating pipes

in your house

radiators yeah in the uk we have boilers

that heat up the radiators in the house

through pipes so technically he is


ate it there's more places outside the

world than america

all right just because you do it

differently doesn't mean i'm wrong

get your head out your ass americans

start to smell an awful lot like

[ __ ] you probably weren't from

america at all there's probably

many ways of doing it all i know is that

comedian septa guy was on top form that


2019 jack after swearing versus 2020

jack after swearing

yeah it was a period where i tried to

make that happen i tried to make it so


because you hear all those stories about

oh if you swear too much you get

demonetized or

your video won't go out to people or

youtube won't like you if you swear and

technically that's true

non-swearing content will always do

better than swearing content i think

but at the same time trying not to swear

in my videos was like trying to exercise

a demon out of me it was very

uncomfortable i didn't want to do it

and i tried so hard but it just felt so

unnatural so i thought you know what if

i swear and it gets demonetized or not

as many people see my videos or whatever

i'd rather have that because it's still

me being myself than trying not to swear

because who cares right

we're all here to have fun the chat like

i said the channel's already gone

further than i thought it would so

why not anyway subscribe um 40

people don't watch the channel um just

subscribe just [ __ ] do it hit the

like button as well if you're excited

that i'm back

no the quarantine club on the way to

give sean all the support and love that

he needs

damn you guys are buff you guys in

quarantine are really like

getting jacked literally

emotional gains and physical gains very

proud of you

well he's not wrong i miss old jack this

is literally the oldest i've ever been

it's hard to argue with his assessment

oh genius god i'm so funny

i just think it's funny when people say

that and i was like well technically


isn't it weird how the old you is

technically the younger you

i think i tweeted that out one time as

well uh proceeded to blow everyone's

minds on twitter

and was basically the new age like

philosopher whatever

that the twitter philosopher um

but it's a it's a weird sort of

paradox no fallacy no

thing it's a weird thing no yeah this

was supposed to happen

um a while back so

i mean i guess the cat's out of the bag

because of this and because it all got

delayed and everything because of what


um and much respect to youtube's for

that we were supposed to launch

um a while ago i'm not sure if i should

say dates or not because i feel like

i don't think it was fully announced but

there is another youtubes coming out you

might have seen him in the background

actually can you kind you can kind of

see him

you see that right there that's the very

edge of the youtubes that will be coming

soon now that we're back in gear i'm

gonna contact you twos and get it all

back up and running again

it's gonna be huge i'm very excited

about this one i think it looks [ __ ]


so much better than the first figure i

did it makes the first figure i did

look like toilet paper that you wipe

your ass with and this looks like

[ __ ] hundred dollar bills baby

uh but yeah much respect to youtubes for

that because

when i told them what happened they were

immediately like no problem

we'll stop it immediately and whenever

you're ready and

i highly respect that thank you

pre-covet and during covet it's true

we're all just chilling out

he looks so much rounder here the thing

is that he hasn't actually gained any

weight it's just

fur because it's his winter code and he

gets because he's like maine [ __ ] he

just gets so much but it just looks like

he's gained so much weight and he's just

gaming what game you're playing b

he's [ __ ] killing it hell yeah he's

so cute

it's so weird because covet last is

lasting so

long not that it lasted god i'm talking

about it like it's in the past hence

it's lasting so long that i went from

that point of like oh god i'm gaining

weight and i'm just not doing anything

to being like no

i'm coming out of covid even better and

i started working out like crazy for

three months

and then i ended up looking like this i

went from like this

to this look at those gains look at

those arms in the back holy [ __ ]

i went from this which by all accounts

is not bad

it's just it's heavier than i've ever


to this [ __ ] chad septic i over here

and then i i thought that i would come

out of covet like this that i'd be ready

for it and then it just went on a lot

longer than that

it went on so much longer it's still

going it's

i all that progress is gone i need to

get back into it

but i've had health issues and i just

don't have the energy to do it and i

know that if i work out i'll probably

actually feel better in the end but oh

my god my

physical health is garbage i got a


in the meantime i don't know if i've

actually said that i

i went to get my stuff checked because i

was like you know what i

i want to take this seriously if it is

affecting my life that much and i need

to go get it checked out so i went and

got a camera shoved up my ass a big long


um if any of you have had a colonoscopy

before you know what that's like

um let's tell a little tale shall we

story time with jack grab a drink i've

had lower intestine issues

went to get a check that said we'll do a

flexible sigmoidoscopy

which is basically getting a bendable

like camera tube

in your lower intestine so it goes into

a third

of your bowel and then as they were

doing that they didn't see anything out

of the ordinary i was able to watch the

whole thing by the way like a live

stream from

hell it was amazing and then they were

like you know we can't really see here

anything here are you feeling okay we

can go a little further if you want and

i was like

sure why not for penny and for pound

baby let's go

you're already in my ass why not go

further so then i ended up getting a

full colonoscopy which is checking out

your entire

lower intestine your entire large

intestine i should say

and they didn't really find anything

everything looked healthy on the inside

they took some samples

which is basically seeing a scissors go

in and chop out a lump of your

stuff well not really but then they

found like a tiny polyp which wasn't


um sometimes they can lead to like

cancers if you if they're left too long

but this one she was like this could be

here for 2000 years and nothing would

happen to it but it's better to just get

them removed anyway

and then they went in with like a

scissors you can see it go in and then

they snip it out and you're like

i didn't feel that that's so weird

you're inside me and i didn't feel that

what's going on um i did a bunch of

scrapings to get like intestinal tissue

to see

to do some tests on that i'm still

waiting for results of that so basically

i got a giant alien tentacle shoved up

my ass like some japanese hentai

what else is gonna be [ __ ] german


and all of that just for them to say

like we didn't find anything

so i still don't know what's going on

with me but hopefully we're whittling

down some

answers and i did all of that

unmedicated they were like you can get

some sedative

in your arm that feels like you've

basically drank like five glasses of


so you'll be like a little like

lightheaded but also your nerves will be

camera and won't hurt as much i was like

i don't think it's going to be that bad

so i was like i don't want to do that

because then i'm going to have to be on

watch for like a couple of hours then

when i come out i'm going to have to be

like monitored and i can't like

they were like you can't drive home and

i was like i don't have a car

um but they just wouldn't let me out

immediately was getting no medication

they were like all right bish bash boss

you're on your way you'll have a sore

hole for a while but on you go

um but that [ __ ] hurt it

they did this maneuver like going in and

around is like oh that's uncomfortable

because i have to pump air and water in

why am i telling you this this is tmi

but i had to go through it so you're

gonna have to go through it now as well

and then on the way out she was like

well we have to check like

the in the like the part the camera

can't see on the way in so they had to

turn the camera around

inside me and that hurt like a [ __ ]

and i don't want to go through it again



good luck explaining that to anybody

who's watching this video i'm saying it

more so for like i'm getting stuff

checked out i have talked about health

stuff in the past

and that i want to get some answers on

it so i'm working towards that but also

to let you know that

getting a colonoscopy actually isn't

that bad that sounds horrible the way i

just described it but i'm saying it more

for jokes than anything

it's fine they're not that bad and it's

good to get yourself checked out if


oh my god the evolution of carrot man

it's the same

just different look at this older carrot

this older moldier carrot i think i've

aged quite gracefully

um this hair needs to go i need a

hairdresser to open up again when kova

decides to like take a vacation

um for good and go home and just never

bother me again

um but it's so weird to see it with the

long hair

versus this one i think i think the long

hair looks quite cool

but it needs to go it's getting annoying

it's been here for too long some awesome

life advice from irish video game men oh

these have to be old

when life gives you a bad day punch it

in its stupid face

true when life gives you lemons throw

them back in its face and ask for

cookies instead they taste

much better so so wholesome and true

whenever life gets hard for you put on

your best shoes and kick it super hard

on its big dumb face

man i really am just a modern day

philosopher on twitter aren't i your

life gives you lemons just say [ __ ] the

lemons and bale

that kind of looks like paul rudd but it

doesn't at the same time who is that


it's fine to have a bad day as long as

all of your days aren't bad

then you're doing okay you'll get a good

day eventually just hang in there except

the guy playing happy wheels i'm tired

of this grandpa

quarantine club that's too damn bad keep

playing isn't it weird that i could

probably just play happy wheels forever

i could literally just

do the exact same jokes in happy wheels

for like another three years and

everyone would be totally fine with it

it's so weird it was in the game when

you played jack this soda

wasn't in the game when i played it the

subnautica veterans who know it was in

the game when jack played it oh no was


oh god it was in the game the whole time

and i didn't know

well at least i had something to look

forward to when i came back it wasn't

just the same play through

again and it felt like the first time um

but i genuinely didn't know it was in

the game when i played it

that i i probably said it in the series


i just didn't end up building it because

i thought it might have been useless

but hey you learn something every day

sometimes you're a [ __ ] and other times

you're a [ __ ]

the lesson is you're a [ __ ]

it says [ __ ] those ladies

so tall and ferocious ooh look at her

she looks so good

damn y'all mind if i simp on my queen

real quick she's been working out a lot

she's been killing it

getting those gains it's very impressive

also i'm drinking a probiotic yogurt


because my gut health is not great so i

need to keep it going boys look a new

episode of jacksepticeye's funniest on

videos where

why you got to do that man that's mean

look i know i haven't recorded one in a

while i do genuinely want to record more

of them again i just need stuff to react


because it's always funnier when the

funniest one videos are like a theme

like the restaurant videos or the the

dumb products

things like that when it's just me

reacting to funny videos then it might

as well just be like a try not to laugh


something like that i think funny song

videos works best when there's a thread

and a theme of videos to react to

and i i kind of ran out of those so if

you guys have suggestions let me know

i would love some rabbit holes to go

down oh that's really sweet

thank you soko i appreciate all the art

you do

it's so lovely to look at birthday boy i

had a birthday in the meantime

i'm 31 years old now can you believe it

it's crazy

um that was on the 7th of february so

thank you all for the birthday wishes as


it trended on twitter before my birthday

actually happened it was like six hours

before my birthday happened or something

and it was already an upcoming moment on


i've never seen that before normally

it's like oh enough people are talking

about it so it trended and became a


on everyone's search page but my

birthday was there for everyone to see

a good six hours before it even became

my birthday here in the uk

so thank you it's i i was on

if you don't like me then i ruined

everyone's day for that entire day

because you had to go to the search page

on twitter and see me at the top

for everyone but it was very very

flattering and

i'm very appreciative of when

when an event like this happens in your

life it's

really nice to see that a lot of people

have your back

and especially a lot of close friends

who are like checking in on me and

making sure i was okay and genuinely

just concerned and wanted

the best for me and that really means a

whole lot because

it can easily doing this sort of thing

and becoming a person of influence or

like fame or whatever you want to call

it it's

it's easy for those people around you to

just be there for that

but to have people who are there for you

just because they genuinely like you as

a person

really means a lot to me um so

all of the people who were joined their

support for me

on my birthday or when it happened thank


jack it's meme time the depression



oh i love that clip


his little face he's so concerned he's

gone he's been sucked to hell

that's so cute also true i know the

sadness is set in quite a bit since i've

been gone because there's been no meme

time to kind of like kick it out

but i'm back baby that moment when

you're watching jacksepticeye play happy

reels and he says a line from all the


he said it he said the thing i have that

every now and then

oh my god i actually just

unintentionally did it every now and


i have that every now and then when i'm

playing another game and i'll say like

oh let's go all the way

and it's like oh it kicks into my head

sean meaning around in proximity chat as


sakuno of course hey my voice

i love proximity among us i i can't play

regular among us anymore

we've we've had a couple of sessions

recently where i haven't streamed it or

anything but playing with friends and

it's just not proximity i'm like

oh this is kind of lame now it's too

like combative

it's too aggressive it's too like oh i

saw you do this no oh no i didn't i was

like i'm friends with all these people


jokingly i don't like accusing them of


i just want to dick around in proximity

and then if i get caught it's like well

yeah i just had fun because i was making


that's what i do i make the funnies

that's about all i'm good at

yeah got a camera shoved up my ass today

can't say i'd recommend it

and then all this and then dan next

video gonna be wild

another good one was um when i was

streaming and talking about it before it


like ages ago i i said i had to go get a

camera shoves up my ass and then robin

was in chat going

so do you need that like edited the next

day or

i don't think i'd be able to put that up

on youtube i had so many jokes as well

i had the like the super like

stereotypical one like

i got a camera shoved off my ass and yes

i can confirm jacksepticeye is full of

[ __ ]

such an obvious joke but then i had

another one i wanted to make was

i literally had a camera shoved up my


and the amount of [ __ ] i saw was still

better than most of what's on youtube

or something like that i was like nah

that's that's making fun of other

people's content and that's

it's not true but it was just a funny


i didn't have the other one though

playing valerian with friends and we

were losing a lot and i said

um guys i just had a colonoscopy today

and this round is more painful than that

oh god i'm just so funny hey are you

subscribed to jacksepticeye

you better subscribe [ __ ] yeah

true the goose will get you otherwise

i'm waiting until a time when i can make

an entire episode out of memes about

subscribing to my channel and just


how effective it actually is we'll just

come full circle with it it'll be

full-on meta

that's your homework for next time all

the memes have to be about subscribing

to the channel

also about buying my coffee we didn't

get one in this episode but uh yeah


buy it thanks anyway uh i'm gonna leave

this video here

it's just good to be back and have sort

of like i can talk about what happened

and what's been going on with me

in videos like this so i will be certain

games um

tomorrow i think we're going to start

little nightmares too

i'm so excited for it it came out

in the middle of everything that was

happening so i've just kind of been

holding off i'm like oh god i don't want

to get spoiled i want to avoid

everything uh robin and evelyn have

played it and said it was so good and

everything i see about it looks so

amazing so i'm really excited to do that

and we'll probably have an episode of

that coming out every day

um just so we can get it out of the way

and i'm so [ __ ] pumped to play it i

really love the first game and this one

looks even better

um but yeah i'm back thank you for

everyone who

um again has been just so supportive and

is waiting around and is just here for

shits and giggles and fun and just to go

with the flow of the channel i really

appreciate that i think

the time i've taken off has given me a

lot of time to like reflect on

what i want out of life and what i want

to be

i just kind of i think it's given it's

opened up my mind a lot more to just

doing kind of what i want to do and

being a lot more carefree about what i

want to do and live my life

sort of to the max of my ability

so to speak um i don't really know how

to describe it just basically

no folks given about any of the worries

that were kind of bogging me down before


at the end of the day a lot of them

didn't matter and they were just taking

up space in my brain

and i don't need them and they weren't

even if i

reconciled a lot of them it literally

wouldn't change anything so

a lot of that stuff is kind of like my

mind feels lighter i think

having gone through something that like

actually matters and something that i've

had to process and actually get over

um all of the sort of like nonsense of

the world kind of

it kind of just dissolves after

something like that and you realize hey

life is pretty great and worth living

and like

to make the most out of it and have the

most fun with it so i

i'm in a good place mentally right now

so i'm glad that i've been able to take

the time to process that properly

and was in such a position to be able to

do something like that

i also don't know if i ever said it in

videos properly but i stream fairly


on twitch now um from like like the

among us times and that started to kick


i've been streaming fairly regularly

there so if you ever want to catch me

live you can go to my

twitch same name as what's here um

and catch me there whenever i go live um

because sometimes you do stuff that we

don't upload to youtube so if you want

to catch that

it's there or if you kind of want to see

some of the episodes that you see on


live and like in the middle of recording

them then you can go there as well

um i also still have some hitman stuff

that we did

before everything happened i have like

two episodes

so i might upload those as well it's

kind of weird because they're from like

a different headspace

but we did the whole game so i might as

well just upload those as well if

they're like ready to go

uh but yeah i hope you guys are excited

for little nightmares tune into that


and i guess that's that i i don't know

what else to do

thanks for watching thanks for being

here thanks for everything really

and i'll catch you guys tomorrow



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